Ephesians 4. Truth In Love. 

1. Why do we want to talk about this? 

   1. Speaking “truth in love” has become a common phrase among Christians without there ever being much explanation for it (Ephesians 4 - Verse 15). 

   2. “Be angry and do not sin” is a well known verse, but the true meaning of it is not as well known (Ephesians 4 - Verse 26). 

2. What are the first 3 chapters of Ephesians about?

   1. What God has done for us, freely by His grace. Now, Paul brings to light (over the next 3 chapters) our responsibility in responding to God’s sovereign grace by “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” 

3. Why are we called to walk in a worthy manner? Verse 1. 

   1. This clearly presents the concept that we do not walk worthy so that God will love us, rather we walk worthy because He loves us. We do so out of gratitude, not out of a desire to earn more heavenly brownie points. 

4. Practically, what is a worthy walk? Describe your answer. Verses 2-3. 

   1. Humility (KJV uses lowliness), or tapeinophrosune in Greek, refers to an inside-out virtue produced by comparing ourselves to the Lord (rather than to others). This keeps up from self-exalting (self-determining, being self-inflated). For the believer, humility means living in complete dependence on the Lord, i.e. with no reliance on self (the flesh). Humility is possibly a fruit of the Spirit…

      1. It can also be used to describe how we should act in service, putting the needs and desires of others above our own (Philippians 2:3-4). 

   2. Gentleness, or prautés  in Greek, refers to meekness, or the characteristic of having some degree of power yet being able to restrain it, being reserved. 

      1. You may want to scream at your friend for being an idiot, yet we must have a spirit of gentleness even when admonishing someone. This does not mean that we can’t be stern, but that we must do so out of love for the other person and not out of pride. Also a fruit of the Spirit… 

   3. Patience (KJV uses longsuffering), or makrothumia in Greek, refers to being slow to anger, true patience/longsuffering is also a fruit of the Spirit…

   4. Bearing (anechó, enduring or tolerating) with one another in love (agapé, unconditional and self-sacrificial love). This love is also a fruit of the Spirit…

   5. If you haven’t noticed by now, walking in a worthy manner means that we will have fruits of the Spirit evident in our lives, we are not of this world (John 18:36)! 

5. What is unity in Christ? Is unity always a good thing? Verses 3-16. 

   1. Unity is not always a good thing, during WWII there was unity among many Germans over Nazism, in America’s past there was unity around slavery. Unity has been used in terribly negative ways in the past, these are just two examples. 

   2. We have unity in Christ because there is one body (the church of believers), one Spirit (the same Holy Spirit is within all believers), one Lord (Jesus, the Lord of lords), one faith (faith in Christ and the foundational teachings of the church), one baptism (for both Jew and Gentile), and one God (who saves by grace). 

   3. If we all go towards the front door, we will inevitably be closer to one another and unified around a common point. However, if we’re simply told to be unified with one another we will just gather in the middle of our group and end up nowhere near the door. 

      1. The same goes for pursuing Christ. In this example, He is the front door. The more we all go towards Christ, the more we will be unified around Him and all that comes with Him (see point above). However, if we are simply told to be unified then we will just end up in the middle of whoever we are with, not towards Christ (because we are sinful). 

   4. We are called to work together to bring glory to God through the building up of His church, we’ve been given gifts for this very purpose (1 Corinthians 12)! 

   5. This includes being unified around the core doctrines of our faith and united against blatant heresy. Despite John Wesley (who took Arminianism to another level) and George Whitfield (a thoroughbred Calvinist) disagreeing on soteriology, among other things, the Lord used them both to call His people to Him. 

6. What does it mean to speak “truth in love” and why is this important? Verse 15. 

   1. It means to deliver the truth of the gospel of Christ crucified to others. 

   2. Love is that Christ died so His people may live, truth is our lives must change because of this. Truth is who Christ is (John 14:6). We must tell others of the gospel because we love them enough to do so! 

   3. The gospel will offend a natural (depraved) man, it is folly or foolishness (mōria) to those who are perishing (1 Corinthians 1:18). This does not make it unloving to share as the opposite is quite true. The most loving thing we can do is share it. 

   4. “Speaking the truth in love is not as much about having a gentle demeanor as it is about the way truth and love go hand-in-hand. Because we love one another, we must speak the truth. Because we know the truth, we must be people characterized by love (John 13:34-35; 15:1-17). Jesus “came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). As His followers who are being conformed to His image (Romans 8:29), we should also be characterized by grace and truth.”- Got Questions.

7. Do any other passages come to mind after reading the first half of Ephesians 4?

   1. Galatians 6:1-10, 1 Corinthians 13, Romans 12, etc. 

8. How do Ephesians 4:17-24 and Romans 1:18-32 compare? 

   1. Ephesians 4:17-24 shows us the progression of those who have turned aside and “given themselves up” to the things of this world. Romans 1:18-32 shows us the same progression where God “gave them up” to the things of this world. 

   2. This echoes how it describes the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart in Exodus. In Exodus 8:15, 32, and 9:34 it says that Pharaoh hardened his own heart. However, in Exodus 4:21 and 7:3 it says that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. 

   3. Isn’t it a wonderful mystery how God’s sovereignty and man’s responsibility work together in one way or another? Research “compatibilism” for more information. 

9. What is this new self that Paul tells us to put on? Verses 20-24. 

   1. If only Paul would tell us… oh wait, just read Ephesians 4:25-5:5. 

   2. Turn away from lies and tell the truth (4:25-26), from uncontrolled anger and to self-control (4:26-27), from stealing to useful labor (4:28), from harmful or helpful speech (4:29-30), from bitterness to love (4:31-5:2), and from unrestrained sexual desires to a thankful acknowledgement of God’s good gifts (5:3-5). 

   3. Related verses include 2 Corinthians 5:17, Colossians 3:10, 1 Peter 1:14-15, etc. 

10. What does “be angry and do not sin” mean and why is this important? Verse 26. 

    1. There are many feelings that come naturally such as sadness, grief, frustration, excitement, happiness, and anger. These are not sinful in and of themselves. Rather, how we act based on those emotions is what can be sinful. 

       1. For clarity, we are not saying that all emotions you feel are not sinful. There are many times where our emotions are sinful. As a result of the fall, sin has completely affected every part of us, including our emotions. 

    2. The very thing we are called to be angry about is sin! We will all feel anger in our lives, but we must not let this anger itself turn into or lead to sin! 

11. Practically, what does it look like to “be angry and do not sin?” Verse 26. 

    1. Scripture tells us to deal with anger quickly, in constructive and God-honoring ways, to prevent it from growing stronger and producing bitterness in our lives. 

    2. We are told to “not let the sun go down on our anger” (26). Before the day is over we need to have taken steps to alleviate the anger (before we go to bed). 

    3. When we fail to do this we give the devil leverage over us (27). 

    4. We are told to get rid of anger and its companion sins (31). 

    5. We are told to forgive others as God has forgiven us (32, Matthew 18:21-22). 

    6. We must have self-control rather than uncontrolled anger! 

    7. What are some steps we can take to alleviate this anger?

       1. Take a deep breath, be alone for enough time to calm down, pray for peace and remind yourself of who God is, delve into Scripture, talk to someone about it who you trust, workout, play some video games or watch your favorite (appropriate) show, listen to Christian music, etc. 

       2. Proverbs 14:29, 15:1, 15:18, 16:32, etc. 

12. What does it mean to “grieve the Spirit” and why must we avoid this? Verse 30. 

    1. To live in sin. Look back at the list of qualities of our “old selves” to see what this looks like. This can happen in our thoughts, emotions, and actions. 

    2. “The Spirit cannot be paralyzed by grief, and His grief is always holy, undefiled by sin, ungodly jealousy, and all the other flaws that often attend our sorrow. His grief, ultimately, is a mystery.” - Ligonier. 

       1. “No language can adequately express this solemn truth, that the Holy Spirit rejoices and is glad on our account, when we are obedient to him in all things, and neither think nor speak anything, but what is pure and holy; and, on the other hand, is grieved when we admit anything into our minds that is unworthy of our calling.” - John Calvin. 

    3. Does it not cause our heart to distress when we grieve someone? How much more so should it cause our heart to distress when we grieve the Spirit? 

13. Resources (1-16):

    1. Enduring Word Bible Commentary Ephesians Chapter 4 Enduring Word. 

    2. What does the Bible say about humility? Got Questions.  

    3. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit – What is gentleness? GQ. 

    4. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit – What is patience? GQ. 

    5. What does Ephesians 4:5 mean? Bible Reference.  

    6. What does it mean that there is only one baptism (Eph. 4:5)? GQ. 

    7. What does it mean that we should be bearing with one another (Eph. 4:2)? GQ.  

    8. What does it mean to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)? GQ.

    9. What does it mean to bear one another's burdens? GQ.

14. Resources (17-32): 

    1. How Can We Be Angry and Not Sin? desiringGod. 

    2. What Does Paul Mean When He Says, “Be Angry and Do Not Sin” (Eph. 4:26)?

       1. Be Angry, Do Not Sin Ligonier. 

    3. What does it mean to “be angry and do not sin” (Psalm 4:4)? Got Questions.  

    4. What does the Bible mean when it says in your anger do not sin (Eph 4:26)? GQ. 

       1. What did Jesus mean when He said that we should forgive others seventy times seven? GQ. 

    5. How Can We Be Angry, but Not Sin? Bible Study Tools. 

    6. What does Ephesians 4:26 mean? Bible Reference. 

    7. Grieving the Holy Spirit Ligonier. 

    8. What does it mean to grieve / quench the Holy Spirit? GQ.  

    9. Grieving The Holy Spirit - Charles Spurgeon Blue Letter Bible.  

Extra Notes on Truth In Love from Bear Group 10/14/21, 

Led by Jarrod Bohr. From Luke Marriner. 

1. Ephesians 4:1-16

   1. Ephesus had an issue with false prophets. 

   2. We’ve already been saved and all called to not just talk the talk or not change how we act, but to be different from this world and honor the all-powerful God who commands us to do so. 

   3. The waves tossing our guys to and fro are outside influences such as social culture, partying, “Christian” media, entertainment, anxiety and other mental health issues, and the people around them. 

   4. Supporting people and staying involved in their lives but also telling them where the Bible speaks on the issue. 

   5. Unity isn’t always good (Tower of Babel), but unity around Christ is. 

   6. Love is that Christ died for the sins of His people, truth is that our lives need to change because of this. Truth is who Christ is. 

2. Galatians 6:1-5

   1. To love is to be vulnerable quotes by C.S. Lewis. The Four Loves. 

   2. Come to your small group guys with vulnerability. 

3. 2 Peter 2:12-22 

   1. Characteristics of false prophets. 

   2. Nothing is more important than Christ.